Sara E. Spies...Born on December 29, 1988.....Passed on Feb. 23, 2009 due to pancrites....I was about to call my bith mother ann...To ask her about it...But ...I was to late...She was my best friend for twelve years....My first girlfriend for three months...and my un-official wife for two years...We had a thing where we called our closest friends wifes...since it consited of one gay guy and three girls. We were all wifes with Sara. I still can't belive she has passed...At only the age of twenty...Thats why I havn't wrote about this any sooner....I don't know what to think now. On another note...I broke up with my fiance...Well he broke up with me lol. Its ok though, things were falling apart badly so its for the better. I am now with a guy that is going into the U.S. Army! He will be leaving on May sixth. I am so proud of him! He has the cutest son ever! But his soon to be ex wife is..hogging him. But thats ok We will get him back. On another hand my daughter will be turning two on the 28th this month! She can say her ABC's and sing Mary Had A Little Lamb! Its just to exciting! I don't know what I would do without the ones I love. Well...Two of them are gone. My Grandpa and Sara...but I will never forget them. They will forever remain in my heart!

I screwed up again. I ended up in the Psych Ward again for suicidal thoughts. I don't quiet know what to do with my life. Im scared and my two best friends just recently moved to South County Missouri. I miss them so much. I finally quite smoking.....Thats a plus. I just don't know how to manage my life. Its like...I have a choice but I want it planned out by others...Like I don't want to do it on my own. I need advice...I need more help, but the help I'm getting isn't helping. What do I do? I'm scared and alone. Where do I go?

So I got inked with my best friend in the world, Sara. I was so nervous...But it wasn't all that bad. Its a tribal tattoo on my back. Its about two fingers wide and three fingers long. I will have pictures of it up when its all healed!

Thats the line dude...Don't touch my sister....Go to 12of8's journal about the Alert....Go hate that asshole...Im so fucking pissed right now

Ok I just want to start out saying I am sorry for my last journal entry. It was rude and....well very annoying to most of you I imagine. Next...I am DJing (yes...DJ) at a friends rave. Just found this out...yesterday. So Marc, my fiance, lent me his cds. Most of them are badly scratched. Called him and he expected it so I told him I will fix them. Oh he visited me for the past two days. It was very nice! I had recently lost my engagement ring which totally pissed me off. Buuutttt...When he was here I was looking for a remote. Turns out I found my ring! My cat, Lexie, had knocked it down from my mirror in the downstairs living room and kicked it behind it. I am so happy! And I feel so sick. I can't describe the feeling. Like I'm so tired and pukey feeling. I hate it. But I also found a job were I won't be putting my back in danger. I have spine scoleosis. So a place in Breese is giving me 40 (plus!!!!) hours. It will be 10pm - 6 am shifts. I am very happy about this. Possible management position. So it looks good right now...And I hope to be going to SWIC (jr. college) then go to Sandford-Brown. Will put more pictures up soon. My computer is running in safe mode and I don't know anything about computers. *sigh*